The gap between our income and ego

Is money linked to our ego? It’s a question that invites us to reflect on the deeper motivations behind our financial decisions. Morgan Housel, in his thought-provoking way, suggests that “savings is the gap between your income and your ego.” 

This statement can be confronting, especially because it challenges us to consider the extent to which our financial behaviours are driven by a desire to maintain or enhance our sense of self-worth. While Housel’s observation holds some truth, it’s important to recognise that the relationship between money, ego, and personal fulfilment is far more nuanced than it first appears.

At first glance, the idea of adopting a low-ego, high-humility approach to wealth-building might seem like the most logical path. The reasoning is simple: by curbing spending driven by ego and instead focusing on saving and investing, we can accelerate our journey toward financial independence. This approach, however, can sometimes feel overly simplistic. It suggests that ego is inherently detrimental to financial success and overlooks the complex ways in which our values, purpose, and sense of fulfilment intersect with our spending choices.

For many, spending isn’t merely about satisfying an inflated sense of self-worth. It’s deeply intertwined with values, purpose, and the pursuit of personal fulfilment. Consider, for example, someone who chooses to invest in high-quality experiences or products—not to showcase their wealth, but because these choices align with their core values or bring them a deep sense of joy and meaning. In such cases, spending is not just about ego; it’s about living in alignment with what truly matters to them.

This brings us to the essential concept of balance. Financial independence isn’t just about cutting expenses to the bone or maximising wealth accumulation. It’s about ensuring that our financial decisions reflect both our personal values and long-term goals. When our spending is aligned with what we value most, money becomes more than just a means to an end; it becomes a tool that helps us lead a life filled with purpose and fulfilment. It’s not about living frugally for the sake of frugality, but about making intentional choices that serve our deeper aspirations.

This balance is critical because it acknowledges that wealth and fulfilment are not mutually exclusive. It’s possible to spend on things that matter to us—whether it’s on quality, experiences, or passions—without compromising our long-term financial goals. This requires a strategic financial plan that accounts for these intentional choices, allowing us to enjoy the fruits of our labour while still securing our financial future.

Understanding the link between money and ego is part of a larger journey toward self-awareness and intentional living. It invites us to examine where ego may be driving our financial decisions and where our spending truly reflects what we value most. By doing this inner work, we can create a financial plan that doesn’t just aim for wealth accumulation but also for a life that feels rich in purpose and fulfilment. In this way, money serves its highest purpose—supporting a well-lived life with balance, intention, and clarity.

All behaviour is communication

Have you ever paused to consider what your behaviour might be saying about you… to you? It’s a fascinating thought, isn’t it? All behaviour is a form of communication. Every action we take, every choice we make, sends a message, not only to the world around us but also to ourselves.

In the realm of financial planning, this idea becomes particularly intriguing. What are our financial behaviours trying to tell us?

Think about it. When you splurge on an expensive item, what is that behaviour communicating? Perhaps it’s a statement about your desire for status, or maybe it’s about seeking comfort in material things during stressful times, or perhaps it’s your ability to reward yourself and invest in self-care.

When you diligently save a portion of your income each month, what message does that send? It could be a testament to your commitment to future security or a reflection of your values around financial responsibility.

In many ways, our financial behaviours are deeply tied to our identities, our fears, and our dreams. They reveal what we value, what we aspire to, and what we are afraid of. By paying attention to these behaviours, we can gain profound insights into ourselves and use that understanding to shape a more fulfilling financial future.

Take, for example, the act of budgeting. On the surface, it might seem like a dry, technical task—allocating numbers into categories. But look a little deeper, and you’ll see that budgeting is a powerful form of self-communication. It’s you telling yourself that your financial goals are important, that you are capable of managing your resources wisely, and that you have the discipline to follow through on your plans.

Or consider the behaviour of investing. Investing is more than just a strategy to grow your wealth. It’s a statement of faith in the future. It’s you saying, “I believe that my money can work for me, and I trust that the world will continue to provide opportunities for growth.” This behaviour communicates optimism, courage, and a proactive mindset.

Even the way we handle financial setbacks speaks volumes. When faced with an unexpected expense or a market downturn, our reactions can reveal our resilience, our ability to adapt, and our level of emotional intelligence. Do we panic and make impulsive decisions, or do we stay calm and think strategically about our next steps? Each response is a form of communication that reflects our inner strength and our capacity for growth.

The beauty of recognising that all behaviour is communication is that it empowers us to change. We can rewrite the script once we understand the messages our financial behaviours are sending. If we notice that our spending habits communicate a need for emotional comfort, we can find healthier ways to address that need. If we see that our reluctance to save is rooted in a fear of scarcity, we can work on cultivating a mindset of abundance and security.

In this journey of self-discovery and growth, it’s important to remember that we don’t have to do it alone. Just as our behaviours communicate messages to ourselves, they also communicate to those around us—our family, our friends, our financial advisors. By sharing our insights and working together, we can support each other in making positive changes and achieving our financial goals.

Problems that seem simple at first

Life’s a bit of a puzzle, isn’t it? We look at our problems and think, “Oh, that’s straightforward enough.” But then we start digging, and suddenly we’re in a whole different ballgame. It’s like peeling an onion – layer after layer, each revealing something new. And you know what? There’s a reason for all this complexity – and it’s not just to bring tears to our eyes… 

Most of the time, the issues we’re facing are just the tip of the iceberg, hinting at bigger stuff going on beneath the surface. It’s all connected – our physical health, our state of mind, our spiritual well-being, and how we relate to others. It’s a big, interconnected web, and each thread tells a story.

Remember that scene in Shrek where Shrek tells Donkey that ogres are like onions because they have layers? Well, our problems are a lot like that. On the surface, they seem simple, much like Shrek and Donkey’s initial plan to have the squatters removed from Shrek’s land by Lord Farquaad. They thought it would be a quick, straightforward trip. But as their journey unfolds, it turns into a grand adventure with unexpected twists and deeper revelations.

Similarly, as we peel back each layer of our problems, we discover more about ourselves and the underlying issues at play. This complexity isn’t just a hassle; it’s a clue to understanding the bigger picture of our lives. Just like Shrek and Donkey’s journey, our path might be longer and more intricate than we initially thought, but each layer we uncover brings us closer to true understanding and resolution.

Imagine you have a financial issue that initially appears straightforward, like an unexpected expense. At first glance, it’s a matter of finding the money to cover it. But as you delve deeper, you might uncover layers of underlying concerns: stress about financial stability, feelings of inadequacy, or even relationship tensions stemming from money management.

When we acknowledge these deeper connections, the landscape of our problems shifts, they are no longer isolated incidents but part of a larger, intricate web of our lives. This realisation can be overwhelming, but it also opens up a pathway to true understanding and growth.

So, the philosophical question remains: How do we begin to unwrap the deeper layers? The answer lies in being aware that our problems are interconnected threads woven into our broader life story. By engaging in open, honest conversations with those we trust, we gain the strength and clarity to address these issues holistically.

Having people to talk to when we face problems is not a sign of weakness; it’s a testament to our relational strength. It’s an acknowledgment that we don’t have to navigate this complex maze alone. Speaking to a trusted partner, friend, or advisor provides us with new perspectives and shared wisdom, illuminating aspects of the problem we might have missed.

Carl Richards often illustrates complex financial concepts with simple sketches, reminding us that clarity often emerges from simplicity. In the same vein, reaching out for help can simplify the complexities we face, breaking them down into manageable steps.

Don’t be afraid to tap into your support network. Speak to a trusted partner, friend, or advisor. Their insights can help you untangle the complexities and guide you toward meaningful solutions. Remember, it’s through these connections and the commitment to diving deeper that we find more meaning and experience fulfillment.

The art of switching off

What if the key to unlocking a richer, more fulfilling life lies not in doing more, but in doing less? In our hyper-connected world, where the lines between work and personal life are increasingly blurred, this question has never been more relevant.

The older we get, the more we see and learn how burnout can impact not just our emotional well-being, but our relationships and finances too. The constant pressure to be “on” can lead to poor decision-making, strained personal connections, and even financial missteps.

But here’s the good news: creating an intentional switch-off routine can be a game-changer. Just as we carefully plan our financial strategies, we need to design our daily routines with equal thoughtfulness.

Imagine ending our workday with a ritual that clearly signals to our brains that it’s time to shift gears. It could be as simple as playing a specific song, changing our shoes, or taking a few minutes to meditate. The key is consistency – making it a habit that sticks.

This isn’t just about work-life balance; it’s about life-wealth balance. When we’re constantly in work mode, we’re more likely to make impulsive financial decisions, overlook important personal relationships, and neglect self-care. All of these can have a significant impact on our overall financial well-being.

Consider this: How often have we made unnecessary purchases because we were too stressed or tired to think clearly? How many times have we missed out on quality time with loved ones because we were mentally still at work? These seemingly small moments add up, affecting both our emotional and financial health.

By creating a clear boundary between work and personal time, we give ourselves the space to recharge, reconnect with our values, and make more mindful decisions – financial and otherwise.

Remember the wise words of Anne Lamott: “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.”

So, let’s circle back to our original question: What if the key to a richer life is in doing less? After exploring the benefits of intentional unplugging, we believe the answer is a resounding yes. By giving ourselves permission to switch off, we’re not just avoiding burnout – we’re investing in our overall well-being, our relationships, and ultimately, our financial future.

Our wealth isn’t just about the numbers in our bank accounts. It’s about creating lives rich in experiences, relationships, and personal fulfilment. And sometimes, the best way to grow that wealth is to simply unplug.

The Monte Carlo Fallacy

Also known as the gambler’s fallacy, the Monte Carlo fallacy is the mistaken belief that past events can influence future outcomes in situations where the events are actually independent. This fallacy, or cognitive bias, originates from the world of gambling, where players may erroneously believe that a streak of losses makes a win more likely or vice versa.

In reality, each spin of the roulette wheel or roll of the dice is an independent event, unaffected by what happened before. The odds remain the same, regardless of previous outcomes. However, our minds struggle with this concept, often seeking patterns and meaning where none exist.

In the realm of financial planning, making sound decisions is crucial for long-term success and well-being. However, our minds are not always as rational as we might hope, and we can tag onto patterns that aren’t accurate. Cognitive biases, such as the gambler’s fallacy, can subtly influence our planning processes and lead us astray.

This cognitive bias can manifest in various ways in our financial lives. For example, an investor who has experienced a series of losses may believe that they are “due” for a win, leading them to make riskier investments or to hold onto losing positions longer than they should. Conversely, an investor who has had a streak of success may become overconfident, believing that their past performance guarantees future results.

The gambler’s fallacy can also influence our perception of market trends. If the stock market has been on a prolonged bull run, some investors may believe that a downturn is imminent, causing them to sell off their positions prematurely. Similarly, if the market has experienced a significant drop, some may hesitate to invest, believing that further losses are inevitable.

So, how can we guard against the influence of the gambler’s fallacy in our financial decision-making? Here are a few strategies to consider:

1. Understand the independence of events:
Remind yourself that past performance does not guarantee future results. Each investment decision should be evaluated on its own merits, based on current market conditions and your personal financial goals.

2. Consider data and analysis:
Rather than making decisions based on gut feelings or hunches, ground your financial choices in solid research and data. Consult with a financial planner who can provide objective insights and help you maintain a long-term perspective.

3. Embrace a diversified portfolio:
By spreading your investments across a range of asset classes and sectors, you can help mitigate the impact of short-term market fluctuations and reduce the temptation to make reactionary decisions based on recent performance.

4. Check in with yourself:
When making financial decisions, take a moment to check in with yourself. What emotional factors or cognitive biases are influencing you? By bringing awareness to your thought processes and feelings, you can make more clear-headed, healthy choices.

5. Maintain a long-term outlook:
Remember that successful financial planning is a marathon, not a sprint. Short-term market movements, whether positive or negative, are less important than your overall trajectory. Stay focused on your long-term goals and resist the urge to make impulsive decisions based on recent events.

The gambler’s fallacy is just one of many cognitive biases that can impact our financial choices. By understanding these biases and actively working to counteract them, we can make more informed, level-headed decisions about our money.

It ain’t gonna be easy

The road toward financial independence and a meaningful life is seldom straight or smooth. It’s a path fraught with challenges, requiring not just financial acumen but also a steadfast commitment to your long-term goals. The words, “I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy. I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it,” resonate deeply in this context, offering both a sobering reminder and a hopeful promise.

It ain’t gonna be easy. Embarking on this journey means embracing complexity and uncertainty—not just occasionally, but as constant companions. Planning and building a life of value isn’t merely about making more money or saving aggressively, though these are undoubtedly crucial components.

It’s about crafting a life that aligns with your deepest values and aspirations, a life where money serves not as the end goal but as a tool for crafting a richer, more fulfilling existence.

The challenges are manifold and requires a disciplined approach to investment in ourselves and our futures, where strategic patience is more than a virtue—it’s a necessity. Each decision must be weighed not only for its potential return but for its alignment with broader life goals.

Moreover, the journey involves constant education and re-education. This learning curve can be steep, but it’s also enriching—an opportunity to deepen your understanding not only of finance but of your personal relationship with money.

However, the true value of this journey lies in its transformative power. Financial independence isn’t just about securing enough assets to live comfortably—it’s about gaining the freedom to pursue your passions without financial constraints. It’s about the peace of mind that comes from knowing you can weather financial storms. It’s about the ability to provide for loved ones and the capacity to give generously to causes that matter to you.

This path also teaches resilience and resourcefulness. You’ll learn to craft budgets that reflect your priorities, invest in ways that mirror your risk tolerance and ethical beliefs, and pivot your strategies in response to life’s inevitable changes. Each step, each decision, is a building block in creating a stable and robust financial foundation.

The Art Williams quote – “I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy. I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it,” serves as a beacon for anyone embarking on or navigating the path to financial independence. It acknowledges the hardships and the hurdles but also illuminates the profound rewards that lie beyond them. When the going gets tough—as it invariably will—these words remind us to look beyond the immediate difficulties to the long-term benefits.

Ultimately, the journey towards financial independence is as much about cultivating personal virtues—patience, perseverance, and foresight—as it is about accumulating wealth.

It’s a testament to the fact that the most significant investments you make are not just in your portfolio, but in yourself. And indeed, while the journey may not be easy, it promises to be immensely worth it.

Being kind to the inner critic

Sometimes, we can be hardest on ourselves (and others) when working with money! This could be because we’ve been taught to think that our success is largely determined and defined by numbers, investment strategies, and external factors that impact our financial well-being. However, true financial success is most often rooted in our internal world—our thoughts, beliefs, and the narratives we tell ourselves. So – it’s a much bigger picture.

As we begin to explore this bigger picture, one of the most significant obstacles to financial and emotional well-being is the presence of a harsh inner critic. This internal voice, formed during childhood, can fill our minds with self-doubt, negativity, and a sense of inadequacy. As we grow older, this inner critic can become more pronounced, influencing our financial decisions and hindering our ability to lead fulfilling lives.

The inner critic can manifest in various ways when it comes to our financial lives. It might tell us that we’re not good enough with money, that we’ll never be able to save enough for retirement, or that we don’t deserve financial success. These thoughts can lead to feelings of anxiety, shame, and even paralysis when it comes to making important financial decisions.

The key to overcoming the inner critic lies in developing a more compassionate and kinder relationship with ourselves. This involves telling ourselves that our worth is not tied to our financial status and that setbacks and challenges are a normal part of the journey.

So, how can we begin to silence our inner critic and cultivate greater self-compassion in our financial lives? Here are a few strategies to consider:

1. Practice mindfulness:
Take time each day to observe your thoughts without judgment. When you notice your inner critic arising, acknowledge its presence and then gently redirect your focus to the present moment.

2. Reframe negative self-talk:
When you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk about your financial situation, try to reframe those thoughts in a more balanced, compassionate way. For example, instead of telling yourself, “I’ll never get out of debt,” try, “I’m taking steps to improve my financial health, and I’m making progress every day.”

3. Celebrate your successes:
Often, our inner critic can cause us to overlook our financial wins, no matter how small. Make a point of celebrating your successes, whether it’s paying off a credit card or sticking to your budget for a month.

4. Seek support:
Surround yourself with people who uplift and encourage you, whether it’s friends, family, or a financial planner who takes a holistic, client-centric approach. Having a supportive network will help counteract the negative influence of your inner critic.

5. Practice self-care:
Engage in activities that promote your overall well-being, such as exercise, hobbies, or spending time in nature. When we take care of ourselves holistically, we’re better equipped to manage stress and maintain a positive outlook.

The ultimate goal of financial planning is not just to accumulate wealth, but to create a life that is rich in purpose, meaning, and fulfilment. By learning to silence our inner critic and approach our financial lives with greater self-compassion, we open ourselves up to a more joyful, abundant existence.

Remember, the journey to financial and emotional well-being is not always a straight line. There will be ups and downs, successes and setbacks. What matters most is how we choose to relate to ourselves along the way. By cultivating a kinder, more compassionate inner dialogue, we create the foundation for a financial life that is truly aligned with our deepest values and aspirations.

Retirement needs to be revisited

70 is the new 60! We live in an era where longevity is increasing, and living costs are surging; the traditional concept of retiring at 65 is undergoing a significant transformation. It’s becoming evident that the golden years of retirement, once anticipated as a time of leisure following a fixed endpoint in one’s career, no longer aligns with the financial and personal realities many face today.

Traditionally, retirement has been sold as the ultimate reward after decades of work—a time to relax and enjoy the fruits of one’s lifelong toil. However, as life expectancy extends and the age demographic shifts globally, the feasibility and desirability of stepping away from the workforce at 65 are being reevaluated. Not only are people living longer, but they are also maintaining their health and vitality into later life, prompting a redefinition of what it means to be ‘old and retired.’

The notion of retirement as a clear-cut phase is giving way to more dynamic models, such as phased retirement or the concept of ‘rewiring’ instead of retiring. These models embrace the idea that the later years can be just as productive and enriching, albeit in different capacities than the traditional career paths.

Moreover, the financial landscape underscores the urgency for a new approach. As highlighted by BlackRock’s CEO, Larry Fink, the economic environment that supported retirement at 65 in the past has evolved. The cost of living has risen dramatically, and the social safety nets that previous generations relied on are becoming less reliable. This shift necessitates a proactive approach to financial planning, where individuals are encouraged to think beyond the conventional retirement age, planning more comprehensively for longer, more active later years.

This new paradigm invites a fresh perspective on investing and saving. The mantra of ‘time in the markets, not timing the markets’ becomes particularly poignant, reinforcing the importance of long-term, steady financial strategies over attempts to capitalise on market fluctuations. This approach is crucial in building a robust financial foundation supporting a longer, more active financial independence phase.

Another critical aspect of this transition is the psychological shift from viewing retirement as an end to seeing it as a new beginning—a phase filled with opportunities for growth, learning, and engagement in activities that were perhaps set aside during the more hectic career years. This mindset encourages continuous personal development and a vibrant lifestyle that doesn’t necessarily conform to the traditional retirement stereotype.

As we navigate this changing terrain, it’s essential to engage in discussions about financial independence and retirement planning that reflect these new realities. Whether it’s through community seminars, financial advisory services, or personal research, equipping oneself with knowledge and adaptable strategies is key to thriving in this new era.

It’s clear that as we look forward to the future, retiring at 65 needs to be revisited and recalibrated to suit our longer, healthier, and more active lives. Embracing a flexible, informed approach to retirement planning will not only help ensure financial security but will also open the door to a fulfilling and engaged later life. This is not just about adjusting expectations but about transforming them into a vision that celebrates longevity with vitality and purpose.

The essential interplay of love and money

Love and money—two forces that drive our lives in profoundly different ways. While one fills our hearts, the other fuels our ambitions.

But what happens when these worlds collide?

Integrating love into our financial decisions doesn’t just add a layer of complexity; it transforms money management into a shared journey of goals, dreams, and sometimes, necessary compromises. This integration can bring about a sense of joy and fulfilment, inspiring us to make more meaningful financial choices.

It can transform routine tasks into meaningful engagements and challenging conversations into opportunities for growth and deeper connection.

If we choose to live life with love as our guiding north star, we will begin to see life and love as two vines entwined; each supports and strengthens the other. When we approach financial decisions with the same care and attention we give to our loved ones, managing money becomes more than just numbers on a page. It reflects our values, hopes, and dreams for the people who matter most. This healthy and intentional intertwining of emotions and economics can transform even mundane moments into cherished memories.

Similarly, when laughter accompanies financial discussions—perhaps through shared jokes about past mishaps or optimistic dreams about the future—it can lighten the mood and open the door to more profound engagement. Sharing financial goals and working together to achieve them can bring joy and a sense of accomplishment that deepens the bonds of love. It’s the joy of shared financial goals that makes even the most tedious tasks feel like part of a grander, loving endeavour. This sense of togetherness and shared success can make us feel more connected and valued in our relationships.

Labour without love can feel like endless drudgery, but when tasks are infused with love and shared purpose, all chores and occupations can become sources of joy. This is particularly true when managing family finances. Whether it’s budgeting for groceries or planning for retirement, tackling these tasks together, with love and mutual respect, can transform them from burdens into expressions of care and commitment to each other’s well-being.

Listening might be the most crucial skill in any relationship, and its importance extends into the realm of financial planning. Listening without love might catch the words, but it misses the heart. When we listen with love, we hear more than just concerns about expenditures or investments; we hear what these issues mean to our loved ones.

This deep level of understanding is crucial for making informed, compassionate financial decisions that respect our relationships and support our collective goals. This emphasis on listening with love can make us feel more understood and respected in our financial discussions.

Every tough conversation about money, whether it’s setting a budget, discussing spending habits, or planning for future investments, benefits immensely from a foundation of love.

This doesn’t mean avoiding difficult topics; rather, it involves approaching these discussions with a commitment to understanding and supporting each other, recognising that these conversations are not just about money—they’re about building a life together. Remember, when love leads the way, even the most complex financial decisions can become pathways to deeper mutual understanding and shared success.

Fostering healthier relationships through intentional conversations

“How will they react?”
“Will this ruin our relationship?”

We all have thoughts like this when we are faced with the inevitability of a tough conversation. The scary uncertainty can make us shy away from addressing issues that need airing, leading to unresolved tensions and misunderstandings.

Taking the next step is an art form that calls for courage, compassion, and clarity.

Avoiding difficult discussions is a common human tendency, yet it can lead to even more complex problems down the line. As you read this, is there perhaps a conversation you’ve been putting off? Could it be time to face it head-on?

It doesn’t have to be monumental or life-altering. It could be as simple as addressing a misunderstanding at work or expressing how a comment from a friend left you feeling unsettled. It can be regarding finances, health, or anything else that has not been clear or left unresolved – nothing is off the table.

Developing the skills to tackle these tough conversations begins when we identify one specific conversation we’ve been avoiding and commit to initiating it. Starting these conversations, regardless of their outcome, is a practice in bravery and emotional intelligence. Over time, this practice can enhance our ability to handle challenging interactions with greater ease and confidence.

Before diving into a difficult conversation, it can be beneficial to engage in a moment of meditation or reflective thinking. This preparatory step isn’t about scripting the dialogue but rather understanding our own emotions and needs related to the issue at hand.

Ask yourself: What exactly is bothering me? What outcome am I hoping for? This introspection helps us articulate our thoughts and approach the conversation with a defined purpose.

Research underscores the importance of such preparations. A study by the Harvard Business Review highlighted that individuals who engaged in self-reflective exercises before meaningful discussions felt more confident and were perceived as more composed by their conversational partners. This preparation can transform anxiety into a roadmap for constructive dialogue.

Moreover, it’s crucial to remember that perfection isn’t the goal of tough conversations. The aim is to communicate honestly and respectfully. A simple yet powerful affirmation to keep in mind is: “May I speak with truth, kindness, and confidence in this moment.” This mindset focuses on the intent behind your words, prioritising genuine communication over faultless delivery.

Statistics reveal that a significant number of people avoid difficult conversations due to fear of conflict or damaging relationships. A Gallup poll indicated that nearly 70% of individuals avoid difficult conversations at work, often resulting in workplace conflicts that could have been mitigated or resolved through early dialogue.

Ultimately, embracing tough conversations is about more than just resolving specific issues—it’s about growing in personal strength and fostering healthier relationships. Each conversation is an opportunity to build trust, enhance understanding, and affirm mutual respect. By approaching these dialogues with preparation and a positive intent, we not only address the immediate issues but also lay down the groundwork for more open, honest, and supportive interactions in the future.